I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
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