gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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