Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
im holly from the hills drunk
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Your penis caused this!
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