so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
