Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
