I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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