What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
