I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
BRING THE BAGELS
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
