I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
