Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
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