I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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