would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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