Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Randomize
