how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
