You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
