speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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