so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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