Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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