She is in my trunk
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
