So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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