i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
