Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
