If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
