The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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