i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
