i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
