So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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