I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
How does it feel to date your dad?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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