I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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