Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize