Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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