I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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