she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
