Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
