I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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