she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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