There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
