Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize