sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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