think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
