i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
