Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
