I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
