How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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