I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize