i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
false alarm. still invincible.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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