google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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