I feel great
I just peed on a car
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
