I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
home. puking in laundry basket.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
