they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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