Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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