I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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