Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
