A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
