This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
