franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
