we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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