sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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