I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
