I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
The ass gains better be worth it
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