I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
