Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
