I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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